Real Hunks – male survivors of child sexual abuse

For the real hunks out there

0011This is for all you guys out there.
I’ve coached quite a few men who were healing from sexual abuse. Men usually suffer from blame and shame even more than women: ‘I should’ve fought back, I should’ve knocked him in the you know whats, I’m probably gay because my body responded…’

Our society and our myths about men

  • Real man are tough
  • You’re a wimp when you cry

oh and how about this one:

  • There’s three things men think about: sex, sex and sex….

There’s a lot of misguided notions about what it means to be a real man. Media is a great way to enforce this myth. The biggest hunks always get the fastest cars and the prettiest women. As long as you drink gallons of beer and enjoy sex you’re IT.

Fortunately society is changing. Slowly

It doesn’t matter how many people still believe in those things:
Forced sex is never, ever enjoyable!
Not for women, not for men.

Then how come my body “betrays” me?

Truth is it doesn’t.
It just responds the only way it knows how. Naturally.
Does your mouth water when eating a tart apple? Yep.
Does your mouth know whether you chose that apple or whether somebody forced it down your throat?
Heck no…

Male survivors and how to ‘help’ them

A lady once asked me how she could “help” her ( sexually abused) partner.
In my book “I Thrive” I’ve included a letter from a male survivor. His answer is very clear and very personal. He describes how he would like his partner to deal with his past.
The letter was written at the end of his healing process. It took him a while and it took courage and effort.

You are a real hunk

By now he left his trauma behind and he is in a steady, loving relationship.
He’s a real HUNK.
And so are you!


For more information about the long term effects of child sexual abuse and how to heal from them, buy the book ‘I Thrive. Healing child sexual abuse’ at

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