‘I thrive. Healing from child sexual abuse. Beyond Trauma’
Table of contents
Introduction by the author
Research shows that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys have been sexually abused as a child. About 50% of those people run into some serious psychological problems as adults.
Part 1: Effects of child sexual abuse and how they affect you
The first part of the book is primarily about the survivor of child sexual abuse. What are the struggles you’re faced with, how do you cope with them. In a mixture of personal experiences and my experiences as a coach, I relate how deeply sexual abuse can affect your life.
My personal story
My personal experiences with child sexual abuse.
The elephant in the room
About the loneliness you encounter when you run into silence, disbelief and lack of understanding.
The child’s defense mechanisms
How the child handles things that are too threatening.
Long term effects and how they affect you
How the very defense mechanisms that allow the child to survive, hinder the adult.
Reasons to heal from child sexual abuse
Why should you take on the daunting task of healing? What do you have to gain and what do you have to lose?
Ten years of therapy
Finding the right kind of help for you!
Through the darkness and into the light
How I learned to treat myself with mildness, acceptance and love.
Escape from hell
How the therapy, that helped me conquer my fears, worked.
There are different ways to define forgiveness. What do you need to let go of?
How do you know where to draw a line? How can you respect other peoples boundaries?
The relationship with the abuser
He was my first. Firsts are special. Do you need to break up with your abuser?
Psychiatric illness and their connection to child sexual abuse
About half of the victims develope psychological problems. How survivors are often misdiagnosed and given a psychiatric label.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Shell Shock with an nasty twist.
Automutilation / selfharm
What prompts people to hurt themselves? Is it survival or suicidal?
Part 2: Different types of therapy for child sexual abuse
The second part of the book deals with different types of therapy. What type of therapy is the right choice when you’ve been sexually abused as a child? How do different types of therapy work? What do you need to know, in order to make an informed decision about your healing journey?
EFT and EMDR, what does it mean and what can it do for you?
Inner Child work
Inner Child work: a warm, gentle way of learning to forgive yourself.
Past Reality Integration
How triggers can help you in your healing.
Healing your (family) relations using ‘the field of possibility’.
Part 3: Social context
Healing from child sexual abuse doesn’t happen in a vacuum. We all have a life outside of therapy and a lot happens in that as well. What you need to know if someone you love was abused as a child. How the long term effects of child sexual abuse affect you!
Support in addition to therapy
The broader social context: partners, friends and neighbors and sometimes family can be a great source of strength.
Profile of the perpetrator
Most perpetrators are good with children. More than half are happily married. Dispelling the myth of the bogeyman.
Alcohol and drug abuse, traditional male/female roles, the sanctity of privacy: Just some of the things to look at, when most of the child sexual abuse happens at home.
Men who have been sexually abused. Good advise from one who’s been there.
Going to court?
Is going to court something to go for? Whatever choice you make, you’ll have to live with the consequences.
Forgiving the parents
How come the ‘other’ parent hasn’t protected you?
‘My partner has been sexually abused as a child. What should I do?’ Some advise.
No money, no job, no life
Building a life for yourself using the power of ‘Nothing to lose’
Preventing child sexual abuse has rightly been the focus of many organizations. This book chooses a different focus. Adult survivors of child sexual abuse need to heal. My message is: Healing is possible.
- You’re not alone.
- The things you are experiencing are normal.
- It’s normal to be traumatized by child sexual abuse.
- It’s normal that it still bothers you, even after many years.
And healing is possible. You too can Thrive!