Unique is valuable – Blog by Karen Blodgett
This painting and story is from guest blogger Karen Blodgett, job seeker as support and educator for victims of trafficking/prostitution, from Western Massachusetts/ the Tristate area. She very graciously and couragiously agreed to share her story. Thank you so much Karen, for your spirit and help to break the silence…..You can contact Karen through LinkedIn. Please do, she’s a very warm person, wanting to share her talents to help you heal.
I am unique
The journey through life teaches everyone something different. I am a survivor of long term child sex abuse. In the past what has helped me, is to believe in myself, to display the strength I gained to move past difficult situations and I to become aware of the support systems available to me.
Been misunderstood all my life
Many people misunderstand me. However there are also people who love and understand me. I realize I am following a path less traveled. Being my friend requires a lot. I own my issues and do not expect much from people. People still want to be here for me. Carrying on normal relatonships is difficult. The more I learn about myself, the effects of abuse, relationships and perceptions, the more I find out: I am unique!
I am seven years old
I am seven years old and I am playing in my backyard, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, when I am first sexually abused. I am just another kid in a small “safe” rural community. It is not my fault. I am vulnerable and he makes me feel less than everyone else. He really started two years ago, by teasing me, embarrassing me and making me feel like I don’t belong.
The abuser is only two years older
The abuser is only two years older, but he appears to have purposely set out to victimize me, emotionally and sexually. It is a lot more common than you might think. My parents always told me “sticks and stones may hurt, but words will never hurt you.” They couldn’t have been more wrong.
I think like a typical seven year old
I think typical seven year old thoughts. First of all I am afraid I have done something bad and I will get in trouble. Time passes and it seems like no matter where I go, he finds me. This goes on day and night for the next eight years. I am afraid to say anything to anyone. I am afraid of losing my best friend. He threatens me into keeping my mouth shut with the things I fear most: I would have to move, I would lose all my friends or that my parents or his parents would lose their jobs if I told. When I understand what being pregnant means, I worry about that constantly. My biggest fear is people will not believe me so I don’t tell anyone.
For more information about the long term effects of child sexual abuse and how to heal from them, buy the book ‘I Thrive. Healing child sexual abuse’ at Amazon.com